How do we know when we’re processing? The list that follows gives several indicators that can tell you when you, or someone around you, may be processing. This can be very helpful both for self awareness as well as for those who support others' with personal growth or professional development.
Indicators that you may be processing:
- Feeling mentally foggy
- Feeling tired, draggy, sluggish or sleepy (sounds like a new set of 7 dwarves!)
- Being irritable or grouchy
- Tears, weepiness
- Laughter, giggles
- Sighing and or yawning
- Burping, digestive gurgling, even queasiness or nausea
- Frequent or sudden trips to the bathroom (In truth, change can be a really moving experience! Our bodies may release old schtuff on a literal basis. Celebrate when this shows up!)
- Tingles, feeling of energy moving through body
- Sometimes a sharp, momentary "owie" – literally a little jabbing pain that comes and goes quickly
- Burst of energy, feeing revved up
- Headaches, cold or flu symptoms, even sneezing repeatedly
Here’s a specific example: I tend to process grief through my lungs. When I get "croupy" and start coughing, that tells me I have "something coming up," literally.
Sometimes we need to occupy our minds while the change process is underway and reading or zoning in front of the telly can do this. The challenge is to stay present with ourselves so we can discern whether this is avoidance or part of the process of change.
One of the more dramatic processing experiences I had was when I remodeled a home while going through a divorce. I came to realize the physical acts of painting, and papering, of ripping out old fixtures (way fun!) and putting in new structures was more than a way to keep my mind busy. It was also more than a physical reflection of the internal processing.
In that instance, the kinesthetic experience was literally a part of how I facilitated the internal change. As I painted, papered, deconstructed and reconstructed externally, I could feel the internal tearing down and rebuilding taking place. (The moral of this story is: You can spend $20k on therapy or on remodeling, and sometimes come out at the same place in your journey WITH the added benefit of a lovely new environment as a daily physical celebration of the journey. How cool is that?!)
As we are more fully present with ourselves, we can of course be more present with those around us, including family and clients. This in turn helps us be aware of and track energetic nuances more accurately, for ourselves as well as with others.
If you are a coach or other professional who supports clients’ growth or healing, watch for energy shifts with your clients, both individually and in group sessions. You can literally feel when a client or a group goes into processing.
If you are a manager, executive, business owner: Be in observation, with yourself and those around you, to notice when processing is occurring.
By recognizing when we’re processing, we can stop fighting the symptoms and instead support ourselves and others in moving through it.
Surrendering to the truth that you are processing can actually mitigate some of the resistance to change and make it easier to process the change.
So what’s a body to do when we choose change, desire expansion yet still need to keep functioning in today’s world? Sure it would be great to have the flexibility to be a lump on the couch all day and be immersed in a book or tv, but we have babies, dogs, mates and life tasks calling us.
To stay out of overwhelm:
- Set an intention that all of your processing flows with ease, grace and joy.
- Choose to have no resistance to change.
- Determine to be fearless, because resistance is based in fear.
Yes, it is true that our inner landscapes are moving more quickly these days, and that can be confusing. If this is so for you, and you bring to this experience the self awareness of all the work you’ve already done on yourself, then imagine what it is like for people who are less self aware, less connected to themselves. What you may be picking up from clients, employees and in the world around you is not confusion but C O N F U S I O N.
The key here is not to add anyone else’s confusion to our own. This requires the ability to stay in our own energy as we open up to ourselves and become more sensitized to the energies of the world around us. Self awareness and the self responsibility of managing our own energy are keys in the journey into mastery for anyone, including coaches, managers and all humans in transformation!
My intention with this email is not to add to your confusion, but perhaps make it easier for you to be with yourself and others in the process of change.
Happy expanding!
Lyn Allen
Copyright 2005, G. L. Allen. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any way without specific, prior written permission from the author. Coach U students note: The material is for your personal use only and may not be used for teaching, writing or presentations.
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