Going Beyond the Inertia of Resistance

Ahhhh, resistance! That special place where the desire to grow collides head-on with the need to remain safe and comfortable. Humans are funny that way.

Resistance shows up when you are attached to the comfort of the known, or you fear moving into the unknown. It can be as simple as being attached to being right, so that you resist making peace with someone you find annoying, or you remain angry with a teen who does not clean his/her room.

Or resistance can be based in clinging to what we know best, and therefore trust. When I work with people on their scarcity issues, we often explore their fear that success will alienate them from those they love. Being stuck with challenges around cash flow can be based in a belief that acceptance by others requires limiting yourself to their reality. Stated simply: The need for acceptance can create resistance to abundance, especially if your “tribe of origin” does not foster an abundance mentality.

As you can see, resistance can wear quite a few masks or take different forms, some of which can be quite appealing and seductive. In order to take your power back from resistance and get back into the movement you choose for yourself:

1)     Be willing to acknowledge resistance and accept that it may be part of what is going on for you. In other words, stop resisting the fact that you may be resisting! J

2)     Become aware of how resistance shows up for you. Be willing to observe the symptoms and indicators. Awareness gives you the opportunity to make a conscious choice, aka – take your power back from the resistance.

One way resistance can show up: Everything in the world suddenly becomes far more important than your desired goal, or working on your project. You just can’t seem to find time to be present with and involved in the project: No time to exercise, no time to clean out that garage or closet, everyone else’s needs and demands get in the way.

Another form resistance can take is when you become irritated with something about another person because they mirror an aspect of yourself that you don’t want to accept. (This is a personal favorite of mine!)

3)     Embrace resistance when it shows up. Each time you become aware of resistance operating for you, you can choose to use it as a prompt to learn something about yourself. If you imagine the place where your resistance lives within you is like an old abandoned section of an elegant mansion, your willingness to explore this part of the self can be an opportunity to reconnect with forgotten treasures.

Also, when you stop fighting the resistance, all the energy that went into avoidance and denial gets reclaimed to put elsewhere. Think of this as incredibly efficient recycling!

4)     Go beyond embracing to actually celebrate the resistance. Why? Because spotting resistance with yourself can be used a signal that you are close to a breakthrough. And the stronger the resistance, the more powerful this breakthrough can be. Holding this perspective allows you to celebrate when you see the resistance, rather than making yourself wrong, by remembering the gifts available to you on the other side of the resistance – AND during the journey through it!

Also, going into the space of celebration can support you in moving through the process more quickly; celebration is much more loving and transformative than self judgment. For example: Yay! I’ve spotted another resistance, which means I’m ready to have this awareness and make a choice from this new awareness! How cool is it that I’m ready for this now?!

5)     Develop strategies to support yourself with moving past resistance. Just a few options include:
a.     Use imagery to deal directly with the resistance. (click here to access)
b.     Dialogue with the parts of the self that hold the resistance to discover what it is about. Then use the resulting awareness to make a conscious choice. Journal the dialogue to ground your aha’s.
c.     Ask yourself what benefits you may be gaining from the resistance, and send gratitude “into” the resistance. After all, it would not persist unless there were some sort of payoff for you. Then ask yourself if this payoff is in alignment with what you truly choose for yourself.
d.     Work with a trained professional to support you in identifying your resistance and moving past it. Depending upon the strength of the resistance and how it is showing up, a skilled coach may be very useful for you. For resistance based in survival issues or deep woundings from your past, working with an appropriately trained therapist or counselor may be what serves you best.
e.     If you are someone who processes information and feelings verbally, you might ask a trusted friend to hold space for your verbal process. Be very clear about your boundaries; if you don’t want your friend’s opinion or advice, say so. Sometimes all you need is to talk through a situation in order to see where and why you are stuck.

Bottom line: Accept that resistance is very much a part of human nature, and it often generates friction – within and without – when your desire to move hits a wall of resistance. Resistance unaddressed can foster self doubt and erode self trust. Being willing to face it and move through it can free up tremendous amounts of energy you can then reallocate into creating what you truly choose in your life!

In celebration of the adventure,

Lyn