Early this year, an old friend phoned me to reconnect after we had been out of each others’ lives for several years. She told me that after an emotionally exhausting 2009, she was choosing to reach out in 2010 to those in her life who matter to her.

As you can imagine, I was deeply touched – and inspired to do the same.

And yet – as I sat surrounded by stacks on my desk, up to my eyeballs in another new program launch, I realized that any new “to-do’s,” no matter how heart-led, felt like adding to an already full plate. I had zero bandwidth to take on anything more at the time, and I simply could not see how to accomplish the reconnecting I desired, without some sort of “doing” requiring time and energy.

So I took a deep breath, looked up at the heavens, and proclaimed, “Okay God/Spirit/Universe/Great Whatever, I choose 2010 to be a year of loving reconnection with those who have touched my life in past, who have “mattered” to me and with whom I have fallen out of connection over the years. AND – “and this was significant!” …AND, it has to be easy ‘cause I can’t “do” any more at this time. So please lead me in ways to connect with those who matter to me, so this is easy and flowing.”

In short, I declared what I chose to experience as my reality, and let go of the how, trusting the how to reveal itself to me in appropriate timing.

And that is exactly what happened: Within 48 hours, I had a phone call from someone else I knew, asking if she could show me an online system that helps people build relationships and deepen existing connections. Tah-da-h-h-h! A “how” presented itself very organically, without my having “done” anything to find it.

The organic flow in reconnecting with old friends has continued. Fast forward 10 months to present day. I’m still basking in the afterglow from a joyful reunion this past weekend, with another dear friend. As I look back over this year, I can see several of these meaningful reconnections, and I feel extremely blessed and “filled up” with the love as a result.

But way back in January, when I said, “Gosh, that sounds lovely, to commit to deepening relationships this year,” I had no clue of how to do it. I just knew in order for anything to be workable for me, it had to be easy.

Now consider how this story might have unfolded if I had gotten caught in the trap of “how.”

If I had focused on how to do the doing instead of what I chose as my reality, it would have pulled me out of present moment. Leaving present moment, as you are aware, creates a disconnect from ourselves and our hearts. And it is that connection with Self and heart in present moment that provides the gateway to our connection with all of life - -including the wisdom, guidance and resources to achieve what we wish to achieve.

Said another way:
 
When we get caught up in the how, it becomes a form of attachment to outcome. We get stuck in how something has to happen, or the form in which something is to come to us. Or we can use the fear of not knowing how to keep us stuck in the old and familiar, as a way to avoid feeling vulnerable.

Can you think of a time you got so caught up in chasing the how that you:

• Lost sight of your goal, and/or
• Disconnected from yourself, your heart, you passion, and/or
• Used the not knowing how as justification for hiding, playing small, not honoring the call of your heart?

All of the examples above illustrate ways we leave present moment. We go into the how and leave the now. What I’m saying is:

Stay in the now instead of the how.

When you do, the how – the steps to take, the clarity over which way to go, the tools and resources needed -  will find you.

See Transformation Corner, on the left hand side of this ezine issue for some useful steps to support yourself with this.

And along the way, invite and celebrate the opportunities to know yourself more deeply as parts of you may go into any of the “..-ateds” – frustrated, irritated, intimidated. If you use the “-ateds” as a call to discovery, the journey becomes a wonderful playground of exploration rather than an interminably long wait for something, anything, to show up!

To reinforce what you accept as being possible, look for the organic flowing of hows into your life, those effortless synchronicities when what you need comes to you in perfect timing. The more you acknowledge this happening for yourself, the more you make it real and learn to trust yourself and the process.

Also, be sure to support yourself with the tools and techniques that work best for you in the process of remaining connected to yourself in present moment. One of the simplest and most effective ways I’ve experienced is on this month’s companion audio. See top left of this issue for your link to access this as my gift to you.

Hugs,