My last two articles have introduced the idea of resistance as an updated alternative to the concept of personal blocks, and the notion of vulnerability as a primary area of resistance.
Let’s move beyond the conceptual conversation today to look at some of the nuts and bolts of how resistance can show up for you.
There are, of course, the ever-popular denial, avoidance and procrastination. While these are certainly not new concepts, what may be new is the idea of seeing these as surface-level indicators of resistance.
Some of the less obvious indicators of resistance can include not hearing, not understanding and not remembering.
For example, when I can’t hear, track or remember what my coach just said to me during a session, this tells me to look within to see what I’m resisting. I’ve learned that if I sort of “fog out” or go someplace else for just a few moments, it may be a clue that I’m close to uncovering resistance of some kind.
One caveat: All of these indicators can also indicate you are processing internal change. So just pay attention, tune into yourself and check it out when you become aware this is happening.
And notice how you can use this as a new frame when it shows up with your clients.
Instead of “What’s wrong with this client that s/he can’t get this?!” or “What’s wrong with my coaching…?” your internal dialogue becomes,“Okayyyyy, we must be on to something if the resistance is starting to become more obvious.”
Other indicators of resistance: Being late to something. Forgetting a specific task or commitment. Chronic non-movement toward a goal.
Again – all of these indicators can be based in something else: Overload, a very full schedule/life, and of course, being deeply immersed in your own process of internal change.
The key here is to allow and be aware: Allow yourself to notice, simply to be aware of what is and is not going on, so you have choice. While resistance can serve you (more on that later), you may not always want to unconsciously give your power to the resistance to choose for you.
Bottom line: Begin to notice how resistance shows up for you and your clients so you can get back into choice.
If you’re enjoying this thread and want more, check out my free monthly community calls, The Heart and Soul of Coaching.
And watch this spot for more on resistance. It’s a rich topic that offers a lot for you as a Soul in Progress and as a coach!
In celebration of the adventure,