A client who is a coach asked me just the other day how to offer an insight to a coachee. Like many coaches, she was  concerned about staying on the right side of the coaching/consulting line.

As we explored a specific client scenario, it became clear she was over-correcting in an attempt to stay out of the dreaded Land of Consulting.

The result:

  • She ended up muzzling herself and the coaching became stilted and artificial.
  • Her beautiful coaching presence was MIA.
  • Listening and communicating were stifled.
  • This in turn limited the degree of connection and intimacy between coach and client.

In short: Her intuition and insight did not emerge and the client was robbed of opportunities to learn.

The coaching session fell flat and seemed to go nowhere, with the coach ending up questioning her ability to ever coach successfully.

Don’t you hate when this happens?!?

The good news is: There’s actually a really, really easy way to prevent this from happening.

Wanna know the secret?

Here it is:

Invite  your client’s discovery with everything you say. Everything.


Not inform, not tell, not push or insist.

How, you may ask, do you do that?

Easy peasy.

Use the one-two dance step I teach in my advanced language program for coaches:

Step 1: Share your thought, insight or inkling. Just….share it. And give your client a moment to take it in, to hear you fully.

Step 2: Ask a question. Check to see how your share landed for the client, what they notice from it, if it sparked anything, if it resonates for them.

And that’s it in a nutshell: Share and inquire. ‘A one and ‘a two, just like dancing.

Try it out for yourself. And if you want to go deeper, if you’d like some examples of specific language tools and tips, I have a great resource for your development in this area. Access that resource here.

May all of your dances with your clients be joyful, rich and powerfully productive!



PS: Just a quick note: The summer session of my language course is about to get underway on June 19th. It’s not too late to join and there are a couple of open spaces remaining as of this posting. If something about this peaks to you, contact me and we can explore whether the program is a good fit for you at this time.